The Story Behind the Snapshot

“Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark. Begin at the beginning….Make some light.”

-Kate DiCamillo, The Tale of Despereaux

Last Saturday the boys and I hit our local farmer’s market to pick up some honey, fresh berries, lettuce, and flowers. At one point, baby Marshall and I were waiting at the car for the other boys to return. Marshall was toddling around on some rocks and I was chasing him around like a baby duckling waddling behind mama duck.

My fellow market patrons may well have labeled me another crazy helicopter mom who just needs to relax and let her child navigate the world. At 17 months, Marshall was walking with confidence and enthusiasm.

What no one could see was that he was recovering from a concussion just 4 days before.

There were no noticeable bumps, no bruises, no scratches. To look at him was to see a healthy thriving child. Yet under the surface, his brain was healing from having fallen off a park bench, hitting his head on the concrete below. Thankfully, within 2 days he was back to acting 100% normal. But I knew that concussions can take 3-6 months to fully heal (or more) and that subsequent injury to the head is very serious.

Hence my helicopter parenting that day.

Earlier in the week, I learned that a client of mine had been recently divorced. In the time I had worked with her, she seemed demanding, short, and just generally cranky. Now her behavior made much more sense, given the reality of undergoing a life altering divorce with two young children.

I failed to look for the story behind the picture that she was presenting.

What is the story behind the snapshots that we encounter every day?

-What is the story behind the headlines?

-Whose is the face of that person holding the sign?

-That driver that cut me off – are they racing to the hospital?

-What did that homeless woman look like when she was a precocious 3 year old?

-The boy having a meltdown in Aisle 3? Is he grappling with autism, diabetes, or bullying?

The path of least resistance is marked by signs reading:

• Snap Judgements
• Assuming The Worst
• Irritation
• Anger
• Pride
• Knee Jerk Reactions

At the end of this path lies mis-understanding, division and at times, even hatred.

There is another path, but it requires more work. This signs on this path read:

• Curiosity
• Assumption of Good Intent
• Respectful Questions
• Listening
• Digging Deeper
• Fostering Empathy
• Peeling Back The Label
• Remembering that every person was a child once too.
• Looking for imago dei – the image of God. Every single soul on earth reflects His likeness back to us.

This is a life giving path. At a minimum, it diffuses that self righteous shot of indignance when I am cut off in traffic. At its best, it leads to deeper understanding, connection, and a way to move forward in community.

Oh, and the story behind the snapshot above? This is the Tojo Miatake family photographed by famous landscape photographer Ansel Adams in 1943 at the Manzanar War Relocation Center in California. This family was part of the 110,000 Japanese-Americans interned there during World War II. Adams offered the collection to the Library of Congress in 1965 and you can see it here.

Sending love this week friends,

Alicia