I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.
Dr. Brene Brown
Does anyone else silently cheer when an event is canceled and you can just stay home in your jammies with Netflix? As I get older, my introverted tendencies have gotten stronger. 4 kids and a full plate at work demand so much of me that it’s so easy to build an invisible boundary to conserve my energy.
Strangely though, when I push through and choose to spend time with friends and family, I come away infused with so much goodness (and at the same time, ready for a nap). I feel cared for, loved, heard, energized and am reminded the world is much, much bigger than my small perspective.
When I need a reminder of why the effort is worth it, I try to keep in mind some of the huge benefits. Here are a few big ones for me:
My Top 5 Benefits of Connecting With Others
- A Sense of Belonging. Love/Belonging is included in Maslow’s famous Hierarchy of Needs Pyramid for good reason. When the basic human need for love and belonging is met, from there one can continue to grow into their best self. Belonging reminds me that we’re all in this together. Like two towers leaning against each other, we’re here to hold each other up.
- Increased Empathy. When we build relationship with others, particularly others that think, vote, or worship differently from us, our capacity for understanding and empathy grows exponentially. So many lessons I have sought to teach my kids about compassion, the value of all human life, and generosity of thought toward others have been made infinitely easier within the context of relationships. Learning people’s stories broadens our understanding and at the same time reminds us that there us still much we don’t know.
- Positive Peer Pressure. I will never forget how quickly my oldest son learned to ride a bike once he watched the neighbor kids do it. We find inspiration and motivation to try new things, dream bigger, and just have more fun within the environment of healthy community.
- Lower Anxiety. This is huge. Our bodies are physically hard wired for connection. People in healthy community literally have stronger immune systems and better mental health. It’s easy to get on the crazy train when surrounded by my own thoughts and worries. I start to feel anxiety physically manifest in my clenched jaws, racing heart, and interrupted sleep. As soon as I reach out to a trusted friend, it’s amazing how their encouragement and perspective can bring down that anxiety and infuse hope into a situation.
- Physical Health. Strong social support reduces risk of disease and increases life expectancy. Conversely, loneliness is associated with decreased longevity.
“Social relationships, or the relative lack thereof, constitute a major risk factor for health—rivaling the effect of well established health risk factors such as cigarette smoking, blood pressure, blood lipids, obesity and physical activity”
—House, et al; Science 1988
These are all pretty compelling reasons to pause Netflix and grab a cappuccino with a friend, no?
I know I quoted Dr. Brene Brown at the top but she is just the master on this topic so I’ll end with another gem here.
Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy and creativity.
Dr. Brene Brown