“There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
Bill Watterson
“How do you do it all?!” I’ve been asked this so many times in the years I have been working full time while raising my boys. The answer is an emphatic, “I absolutely don’t!”. No one does it all, but we all feel pressure to pretend we do. It’s a silly game we play, exasperated in the era of picture perfect Facebook feeds and Pinterest boards.
My NOT to do list is even more crucial than my to do list. It creates space, margin to breath. Choosing what to let go allows me to focus my limited time and energy into what matters most to me.
Flexibility and fluidity define my list, depending on the season and my priorities at that time. These are a few items on the list right now:
Laundry
No, we’re not running around in mud caked clothes. Well, the toddler FOR SURE is, basically 100% of the time. My husband Stephen has done the laundry for many years. Does he do it 100% exactly the way I want it? Not all the time. Do the clothes get washed and folded every week? YES. If you are a laundry snob (and I know there are tons of you out there), do your laundry and outsource something else. Done is better than perfect.
Awesome Birthday Cakes
I have honestly never made a cool cake for my kids birthday! Not once. I will make cupcakes, I will make pies, I will whip fresh cream. But don’t come at me with your Pinterest worthy stegosaurus cake with the plates lining its back and spiked tail. You can just stay 5.
Christmas Cards
This is a tough one. I love receiving cards so much! We all admire the pictures and read the letters and feel bad that another year has gone by without sending cards. But this is good example of where flexibility comes into play. Some years, we will send cards to grandparents, great-grands, and maybe a few friends that could some Christmas cheer that year. Some years (far more rarely), cards are sent to friends and family that live out of the area. Some years it’s a mix, or nothing at all. I am learning to do what I can, let go of the guilt and enjoy the cards we get!
Make ALL THE THINGS
A few years into our healthier living journey, I discovered how fun it was to make everything from yogurt to deodorant to laundry detergent. It was really fun at first and I loved being able to have maximum control over what was going both into and onto our bodies. Fast forward 10 years and 4 kids. These days I really have to prioritize what I make. If there is a clean market version at a good price, I no longer hesitate or feel bad about buying it. For instance, I used to make toothpaste but now we just order Earthpaste in bulk. It’s super clean, we are supporting a company I love, and the kids like it. DONE.
We are humans with limitations that vary by season. When baby #4 was born this last February, you can bet that a whole lot more hot dogs and macaroni graced our table for a few months while we all settled in. My priority was bonding with the baby and keeping us fed. I knew that we would be able to build our diets back up to more nourishing levels in time. So I let go of any hot dog induced guilt.
Let’s remember to give ourselves grace, and give each other grace. To choose intentionally where we put our time and energy and flex with the ebb and flow of life. For me, remembering this is like taking a deep, rejuvenating breath.
I want to know what kinds of things you DON’T do! Tell me in the comments!