Name What Matters – Fall 2020

Kendra Adachi, a favorite podcaster, just released a new book, “The Lazy Genius Way: Embrace What Matters, Ditch What Doesn’t and Get Stuff Done”. I mean, doesn’t that title alone make you want to read it? One of the principles she teaches is “Name What Matters”. The key here? Name what matters…TO YOU. Kendra applies this principle to virtually anything that needs a good sweeping away of clutter (be it physical, mental or emotional) to identify and make room for what is truly important to you.

This concept especially resonates with this Enneagram 9, to whom 100% of everything feels like a priority. 20 new emails in my box after I hang up from that conference call? I better read and respond to each one right away. Oh wait, my boss is calling me. Uh oh, my toddler is knocking on my office door asking for a popsicle. Shoot, I forgot to pull the meat out of the freezer for dinner. IT ALL HAS TO BE DONE RIGHT THIS MINUTE OR THE HOUSE WILL BURN TO THE GROUND!

Or at least….that’s how it feels.

As we head into Fall 2020, there is a sense of overwhelm for so many people juggling more than ever before. As a full time working, homeschooling mom, I totally get the huge challenge facing millions of working parents right now. Everything is upside down, societal issues are bubbling over the surface and so much is demanding our attention.

Maybe naming what matters to you can be a lifeline this fall?

Here’s a few basic ones of mine to help get your wheels turning:

• Family Dinner At The Table. We don’t have to sit together for every meal, they do not have to be 100% whole organic homemade, and we definitely won’t bother with a tablecloth or placemats. But one meal together at the table each day? That matters to me, and it’s doable.
• Fall Daily Rhythm. I would love to be that mom with the strict daily schedule for chores, school, meals, and activities. But my laid back personality and ***ahem*** paying job mean that trying to maintain a strict schedule is setting myself up for failure. What actually matters to me is that we have a general daily rhythm that can flex as needed when kids are sick, the weather is amazing and we scrap it all to go on a hike or we decide to switch things up during the holidays. Identifying that rhythm and flexibility are what really matter to me helps me release other expectations I put on myself.
• Getting Outside. I honestly can’t think of anything that nourishes my soul more than time spent in nature. Keeping this in mind really helps me decide what to do on a clear crisp autumn Saturday. We could run errands, work on the house, or lounge around with a late breakfast. Or we could pack a picnic and head out to meet friends at Thomas Creek, in the foothills of nearby Mt. Rose. Naming that what matters to me is time in nature + nurturing friendships helps me make more intentional choices with my time.
• A Culture of Learning. Fostering a love of learning and creating an atmosphere conducive to learning is at the core of my homeschool philosophy. As a practical example, we focused less on memorization for Wyatt last year and allowed more time and space for him to learn about auto mechanics – his blossoming interest. Keeping this in mind helps clarify our decisions around education.
• Cultivating Creativity. Over the years this has meant making room for endless Lego creations, displaying the boys masterpieces on the fridge, and encouraging my husband Stephen’s musical pursuits. For Fall 2020, this looks like ordering a Paint By Number kit for myself and baking with 3 year old Emmett. This is a great example of naming what really matters to me (creativity) over what matters less to me (a perfectly clean and organized home).

These are pragmatic examples to be sure and yet, this principal applies equally as well to deeper, more complex issues. When faced with a foggy path forward in a relationship or a tough decision, doing the work of identifying and clearly naming what matters most to you can help clear the fog.

Another huge benefit of naming what matters to me is freedom from guilt over what is NOT being done. I am saying “No” to something else with intention – so that I can say the best “Yes” for me and my family.

This also brings freedom to let others name what matters to them! Praise Jesus, I don’t have to boss anyone around! What matters to me is most certainly going to differ from what matters to my mom, my sister, my neighbor, or my friend. And that’s not only ok, it’s rich and diverse and interesting.

What matters to YOU this fall? Tell me in the comments!