The Grit To Quit

Strategic quitting is the secret of successful organizations.

-Seth Godin

4 years ago last month, I walked off the job. Never in my life had I done anything like that. I was a responsible, conscientious employee who had been taught the American standard of character traits held high as a shining example:

• Perseverance
• Mind Over Matter
• Never Give Up
• Push Through All Obstacles
• Persistence
• Tenacity

Yet the day I quit, it was almost as if an unseen force propelled me out of my office, up to Human Resources, and out the front door. My body was suffering the physical impact of a toxic environment and I had ignored its signals for too long.

Perseverance

There is absolutely no question that the mindset of perseverance has served us well. It has seen us through wars, difficult marriages, election years, challenging bosses, the toddler years and the tenuous early days of business start ups.

We’ve come through to the other side with a greater measure of faith, stronger courage muscles, resilience, and a depth of wisdom gained from experience. Victory is ours!

Except when it wasn’t.

-We didn’t get stronger, we just strengthened our defenses.

-The toxic relationship only deteriorated further, trust eroding like a slow sinking ship.

-The hole of debt was all that remained from the business venture.

All Things Reconsidered*

There are times when the harder thing, the more courageous thing, is to pull something out and look at it with fresh eyes. It could be a plan, relationship, belief, job, role, habit, or just an ill fitting pair of pants. We must be willing to look it in the eye and ask hard questions of it:

• Is this belief serving me and others well?
• What is missing from my understanding?
• What options have I not considered?
• Have I committed to this out of guilt, coercion, or a misplaced sense of duty?
• What matters most here?
• What if we tried something different?
• What is the potential upside of letting go? Of switching paths?

If we sit with it for awhile, answers slowly start to emerge. Maybe we determine that indeed, staying the course is the best path forward. Or we may hear “Wait, push pause, come and listen for awhile.”.

Sometimes, though, there is a sense of release. An invitation to take a deep breath, unclench the teeth and open our hands. To let go and make space for something better.

This does not make you a quitter.

To let go of something thoughtfully, with intention, is entirely different than just giving up out of boredom, laziness or a lack of commitment. Reconsidering demonstrates humility, courage and flexibility.

I’ve been thinking about all of this lately in relation to the massive disruption brought on by Covid-19. Disruption is a funny thing. It forces change where our inclination is to hold tightly to what we know.

Is there an opportunity to look at our usual systems, routines, and thought processes with new eyes? Maybe there are some better paths forward that we never even considered.

For example, a mom told me yesterday how their family won’t go back to sports four evenings a week plus weekends. They have re-discovered how much they enjoy just hanging out together and the freedom from the “tyranny of the sports calendar”.

Other families are reconsidering their approach to education and discovering options that they can tailor more specifically to each child.

I am seeing courage rise. We are reconsidering what we’ve taken for granted, letting go of what isn’t serving us well, and discovering fresh new solutions with new eyes. The resilience of humanity is truly something to behold.

What might you consider letting go to make room for something better?

Quitting is leading too.

-Nelson Mandela

Sending love to my fellow “quitters”,

Alicia

*The title of the latest book from Knox McCoy, who brings humor and depth of insight to reconsideration of things vast and important such as whether Michael Jordan is actually the reigning basketball king, or if that title rightly belongs to LeBron James.